All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.” – Eckhart Tolle

The cordless phone was cradled between my neck and my shoulder as I washed two days worth of dishes. I had just completed the evening sweep where I picked up the house, which included tossing sports equipment into a basket, stacking up bills I promised myself I would open before the end of the night (and I never did) and putting away schoolwork and papers.

The kids had already gone to bed and I had the house to myself. Three cheap candles smelling of fresh linen had once calmed my nerves, but now I was on the verge of screaming because SHE was on the phone.

Her words came at me like a weapon.

BAM

BAM

BAM

I felt my heart drop and my blood pressure accelerate.

BAM BAM BAM

I dried off my hands and walked over to my glass. It was halfway full of a decent Cabernet-I gulped down the whole thing. I hadn’t said a word. The anger and venom on the phone kept coming at me. The silence of the house now fell away from me and I became consumed by this battle i was in.

This was our relationship. It was one I didn’t want nor was it a dynamic I understood. I had met her years earlier and I found her to be was funny and energetic when we first connected. We had mutual interests she was awkward and silly and made fun of her discomfort with the many superficial things I had grown up with.