11.8.21
daily meditation
As in the physical world, so in the spiritual world, pain does not "last forever."
—Katherine Mansfield
Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other painful times and feel thankful for what they taught us. The puzzle pieces take on a deeper meaning when we enjoy the gift of perspective. The pain at this moment fits, too, in the bigger picture of our lives. And it will pass. It is passing.
The wisdom of the past tells us that pain enriches us, prepares us to better serve others. We come to know who we are and the specialness of our gifts through the despair that at times encumbers us. An old, wise saying, is, "We are never given more than we can handle."
My pain today is bringing me closer to the woman I'm meant to be. With each breath I'll remember that.
monday, 5:41 am:
i stare into the abyss of myself.
i am afraid.
the fear that dominates me has been overwhelming, and it’s been like this for awhile. too long really. i want to escape all that swirls inside of me. i want to run away from all the things i can’t understand—all the things i desperately try to understand…
i suppose i have to keep working on letting go.
but it’s the letting go that i struggle with the most.
3:33 pm
stomach tension. feeling like i should have done so much more today.
what i long to be and who i am right are in direct opposition of one another right now.
there was a time, not that long ago, where i felt like i had a sense of purpose. my life, although emotionally and physically challenging to navigate, had meaning. and with that meaning i could muster through some tough moments. now i wonder if i have a purpose at all.
12:30 am
