dark, wild, turbulent dreams that drip into the next day prompt inner reflection.

i try to hold the mirror of self-awareness up every day. i do my best to work each day at being grateful, humble, honest and hardworking. i don’t always succeed in this. i recognize that i am human, inherently flawed, with no guaranteed future existence. i am fully aware there are plenty of philosophies that believe that to be human is to be either born into sin, while just as many others believe that to exist is to suffer.

well i could go on and on about that topic, but that would go in circles, and i’ve already made myself dizzy. it’s still early. no need to torture myself with straight nausea just yet.

i suppose i’ve developed some sort of odd combination of these philosophies and theologies that created a sort of meditative/prayerful practice that i try to stick to. daily self-reflection which i feel helps me with working toward self awareness is part of my daily practice…

lifting that mirror each day can sometimes be a daunting task. no one can help me lift it; they don’t have that power. separately, there are also times when others suggest something -a character defect of sorts - about me or my character which requires that i hold the weight laden mirror of self-reflection high, so i can get a nice big dose of self-actualization. i have to admit it can be difficult for me at times to do this inner work because i while i don’t have a difficult time seeing where i did something incorrectly, i fear evoking anger, disappointment and pain. i’ve learned my auto-response to protect me is to reject criticism.

but here i go spinning in circles again.

but dreams like the ones that make you really think about who you are and what you are doing…the kind of dreams that creep into your consciousness at random moments hours, days, weeks and sometimes even months and years after the you had them… are something entirely different.

can you identify with what am talking about?

these are dreams where images and thoughts haunt you into the next day, or subsequent days, the kinds of dreams that you can’t shake the imagery…those are your subconscious speaking to you. those are the dreams that ask you to sit with yourself and find the strength to dig deep and pull up the mirror to see what you are being protected from during the day. the emotions. the thoughts. the frustrations. the brain has processed the logic of something. the synapses have shot