Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. When you’re engaging in sexual activity, consent is about communication—and it should happen every time. The laws about consent vary by state and situation, but you don’t have to be a legal expert to understand how consent plays out in real life.

Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious. If someone agrees to an activity under pressure of intimidation or threat, that isn’t considered consent because it was not given freely. Unequal power dynamics, such as engaging in sexual activity with an employee or student, also mean that consent cannot be freely given.

How does consent work?

When you’re engaging in sexual activity, consent is about communication. And it should happen every time for every type of activity. Consenting to one activity, one time, does not mean someone gives consent for other activities or for the same activity on other occasions.

You can change your mind at any time.

You can withdraw consent at any point if you feel uncomfortable. One way to do this is to clearly communicate to your partner that you are no longer comfortable with this activity and wish to stop. Withdrawing consent can sometimes be challenging or difficult to do verbally, so non-verbal cues can also be used to convey this. 

Consent does NOT look like this:

• Refusing to acknowledge “no”

• A partner who is disengaged, nonresponsive, or visibly upset

• Assuming that wearing certain clothes, flirting, or kissing is an invitation for anything more

• Someone being under the legal age of consent, as defined by the state

• Someone being incapacitated because of drugs or alcohol Pressuring someone into sexual activity by using fear or intimidation

• Assuming you have permission to engage in a sexual act because you’ve done it in the past